I will be off for one month to complete my military duty, but I did not leave you without a post. How thoughtful of me :)
There were older versions of this list. I am huge believer of principles when it comes to good living. These are collections of me from all over the internet and from all the great minds that had lived before me. I also add 50 percent of these rules from my life. It is 29 now, let’s hope the list does not expand further since it is really hard to follow along now.
You have anything to add to this list? I’d love to hear them. Shoot me a reply. What is more exciting than learning new perspectives?
Rules, without them we live with the animals.
First rule, there are some fixed rules that you cannot, should not and must not break and there are rules that should be broken down and re-established. Trick is to know which one is which.
Family first. Above everyone and everything else.
Health second.
Freedom third. Freedom over your schedule >> Money
Friends fourth. Make friends with people who want the best for you.
Growth fifth. Suffering=moving forward.
Questions sixth. Live the questions. Ask more. Be curious and interested.
Learning seventh. Read as many books as you can on as diverse topics as you can.
Try to learn something about everything and everything about something.
― Thomas Henry Huxley
Hard work beats talent.
No replacement found four patience.
Consistency begets triumph.
Life is suffering. No one promised you a rose garden. Stop being whiny about it.
Life is change. “Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them — that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” ― Lao Tzu
This too shall pass. ―Tom Hanks
Life has no meaning and that also does not prevent you from having one like Camus would have said. Be an optimistic nihilist.
Choose your partner wisely for the long run.
Have a philosophy. Stand for something.
Making no choice between options is also making a choice. Remember that.
You have a chance of not having any opinion on something. Use that chance more.
Not wanting something is as good as having it. ― Epictetus
Pick a role model. Actually pick more than two from different genres.
Live in widening circles.
Fall 9 times, stand up 10.
You are a prism of self not a single particle. Do not define yourself by just one passion, one trait or your occupation.
Wake up early if you can. You know yourself best, start the day at the most optimal time for you.
Under-promise over-deliver. Thank me later.
Comparison kill your spark. A person is never upset about something she does not know. Cool off the social media.
You are thrown into this world without your permission. Do not try to get everyone’s permission while you are trying to do something.
Do not follow news. Subscribe to quality newsletter that summarizes everything for you in quick bites.
The present is enough.
You are what you repeatedly do. Therefore excellence is not an act, but a habit. — Socrates
If you try to be loved by everyone, you only lose your own essence. You don’t have to like anyone, and no one has to like you either.
Learn to say “no”.
Ask for what you want. Ask louder.
No one is against you, everyone is rooting for themselves. — Mevlana
Related with above, you should learn more about how people are driven by incentives. Take things less and less personally. Nobody cares.
In line with the above advice, no one is responsible for you. Take full responsibility for whatever situation you are in today.
Never allow any trouble, problem, fight or disagreement to come between you and your family.
This truth does not change : “You’re the average of the 5 people you surround yourself with”.
Revenge will not give you the pleasure you think it is.
Wisdom will not come from reading books, watching movies and listening to podcasts. It will come by practicing, taking actions.
Stop reading bad books. Some things are never worth finishing.
The more you struggle to live, the less you live. Give up the notion that you must be sure of what you are doing. Instead, surrender to what is real within you, for that alone is sure....you are above everything distressing.”
― SpinozaHave rules you never bend. Remember rule 1. It’s like not smoking, definitely going to bed before 11, spending Saturdays just by yourself. It also makes it easier for you to say no. Also you will have a very strong personal space for you.
Negativity is the natural state of our brain. We are compelled to instinctively seek constant danger. Stop fighting that voice of your brain that emits endless negativity. Listen to it, but don’t identify with it. Know that your bias is towards the negative side. You are the owner of this negativity, choose not to be controlled by it.
Walk a lot. Drink more water.
Use the power of shinrin-yoku (forest bath)
Always learn and read for a purpose. Don’t read to pass the time. Have certain themes, interests, and always read to push yourself further. May your efforts address greater goals.
Re-read the great books instead of finding new ones to kill time.
Focus only what you can control.
Don’t be overheard complaining. Not even to yourself. When you see someone acting objectionably, remember when you have acted that way. —Marcus Aurelius
There is no good or bad, only thinking makes it so. — Shakespeare
Emotions are just visitors to you. Let them go as they came. Do not succumb to any of your feelings. — Mooji
Most of the time you will regret the things you didn’t do. Do it, you’ll regret it later.
Keep some projects of yours secret. The more you talk in public, the more you get the feeling that it will not turn out great.
It is not a loss unless you accept the failure and give up.
But again, know when to give up. Somethings are better finished half done.
Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation. — Oscar Wilde Do not be one of those people.
The right time is right now. Also, there is no right time.
Try to say “I do not know” more. Be eager to learn.
Try not to suffer your imagined troubles. “I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened”, said Mark Twain. “We suffer more from imagination than from reality.” — Seneca
Leave more. Do not maintain a relationship or friendship just for the sake of it. The people in your life should add value to you, not the taxes they take from you.
No one is innocent of sin for which she is not tested.
Success comes step by step : “Well-being is attained by little and little, and nevertheless is no little thing itself.” — Zeno
There is no hierarchy of suffering. There’s nothing that makes my pain worse or better than yours, no graph on which we can plot the relative importance of one sorrow versus another. — Edith Eger
You should only have 1–2 goals that you focus on at the same time. More than that will ultimately get you to the point of a little bit of all.
We see the singer and wish we could sing like her. We admire someone who plays the piano. We are always after the result. We never want to go after the process. What we really need to learn is to learn to enjoy the process leading to the result. To be able to delay great gratification and focus on improvement.
When you talk, you only repeat what you know, but if you listen, you can learn new things. ―Dalai Lama
Make sure you have a friend with whom you can do the dumbest things in the world when she is around. This will be your biggest luxury in your life.
Also: “A good friend will always stab you in the front.” ― Oscar Wilde
Always be skeptical of what you hear. Ask more questions. Look at it from different angles. Don’t forget, the first thing you hear was baked and served by the person who told you.
Your consistency and persistence are your strongest muscle in this life. There are so many battles you can win, not because you’re so smart, but because you always keep going.
“Ask yourself at every moment, ‘Is this necessary?’” — Marcus Aurelius
Whenever you are offended, understand that you are complicit in taking offense. — Epictetus
Do not forget: “Life contains but two tragedies. One is not to get your heart’s desire; the other is to get it.” — Socrates
There is nothing you can do about who your parents are, where you were born, and your physical characteristics. You must accept your terms and prove to everyone that these terms do not define you.
If you are not trying to live the best life you can live in this life, what life are you saving yourself for?
If you think you know something better than the people around you, share this information. If you ask me, you exist in this world not to create something, but to share something.
Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion.
― Rumi
Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power.
― Oscar WildeIf you are the smartest person in the room. You are in the wrong room.
If you’re going to meet someone, be the one to suggest the time and place. Be proactive and minimize the chances of being suggested time and places you don’t want.
Do not forget to always express how difficult the job of the other person is and how much you love the value she produces. Even if you don’t believe it, push yourself a little, people are hungry to be praised and praise each other. We need to feed our soul.
Try to produce more than you consume. It will be good for you to produce and use your creativity.
Plan ahead and wait for the things you enjoy doing the most. Even waiting will get you excited.
Ego is your enemy.
If you are afraid, you are trying something difficult and something that will improve you. Do not be afraid of your fear. Tranquility lies in your comfort zone, life lives in outside of it.
If you expect nothing from somebody you are never disappointed.
― Sylvia PlathYou buy possessions to impress people? No one cares what you own.
Learning is infinite. Learn learn learn.
Discipline is freedom. If you want to do something, don’t go to war with yourself, as Jocko Willink sums up in the his book. If you’re going to exercise at 6 a.m. every morning, don’t think about it again. Just do it. Discipline will make you more free.
Do not be afraid of not knowing something, if you get a task at work that you do not know, do not forget to say, “I somehow solve and learn.”
You’ve probably heard the classic saying “you are the average of the 5 people you hang out with”. Aim to raise the average a little by adding new people to your life. Do it as a pleasure, not a duty.
It is up to you to decide whether to react to what is going on in your life and around you, and if you do, how you will react. Don’t let situations rule you.
Anything you say before the word “but” does not count. — Kevin Kelly
Someone else’s success is not your failure, abandon this interpretation.
Be interested. Talent and luck are talked about a lot, but being interested and curious doesn’t get the attention it deserves. To discover someone or something, give your full attention, ask questions, and listen for answers.
“Yes, that’s exactly it!” Keep going until you find yourself saying this . Don’t stop trying until you find that job that brings out your craziest self.
You may not be a morning person, but these mornings should mean something. Do not forget to set aside at least 2 hours for yourself in the morning before your work. Instead of trying to do something tiredly at night, pull your sleep time forward a little. 10:30–06:00 was the ideal interval for me. Try various ranges yourself.
It’s great to have a strong point of view and be equipped to defend it, but always keep your mind open to opposing views and criticism.
Say you don’t know, no matter how stupid you think you’ll look, don’t give up. Feel free to ask questions, none of the people in the room are smarter than you.
Review your actions, wrongdoings and mistakes.
Criticize in private, praise in public. — Kevin Kelly
You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist. ― Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
There are no facts, only interpretations.― Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
I didn’t note where I read this, but it’s important: You don’t have to do a lot every day, but you definitely have to do something. Every day. At least one thing. One thing that will bring you closer to your dreams.
Do not pick up your phone as soon as you wake up. Turn on music, drink coffee, exercise, do yoga or read a book. Do something for yourself, but do not pickup the phone. I prefer coffee and sports.
Surprise yourself with something you learn every day. Try to do this often, if not every day. Read different books, watch different movies, go places where no one has gone before and meet new people. Save the information in your notes and share it with your loved ones as well.
Definitely think well and decide what your ideal day looks like. Building a life that resembles your ideal day may be the most sensible thing you can do in your limited life.
Whenever you try to criticize someone, remember that not all people in this world have the advantage you have. — Scott Fitzgerald
You will never know if any choice you make will be the best. The only thing you can do is the determination and commitment to your choice. After making your choice, try to make it the best with all your energy. Stop fretting over other possibilities.
Your growth as a conscious being is measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations you are willing to have. — Kevin Kelly
It is up to you to decide whether to react to what is going on in your life and around you, and if you do, how you will react. Don’t let situations rule you.
When you feel angry, try to take 4-7-8 breaths to calm down. Anger must not be your master.
Show the way and encourage people as everyone looks at each other to for some guidance. No one remembers those who didn’t make a decision, even if the decision they didn’t take was wrong.
Don’t talk to say something, try not to talk too much unless you have an alternative or a better idea. Also, please do not wait for your turn to say something. Add to conversation, make conversation move forward instead of trying to take all the attention.
You can’t achieve success without suffering, learn to live with pain.
If you show interest in people and what they have to say, they will also be interested in your story and you. Listen and ask good questions and try to share the emotion.
Copying others is a good way to start. Copying yourself is a disappointing way to end. — Kevin Kelly
Don’t put yourself in the center of the world and take everything on yourself. Nobody cares about you as much as you think. Stop acting like every move is about you.
Nobody owes you anything. Stop thinking like someone is hiding something from you and not giving your due.
Try to accept people as they are, not change them. You will need people by your side who improve you, not change you.
Love is not forcing someone to change. Love is adoring someone while she is changing. Liking every version of her.
The things that will give you the strongest meaning in your life will always require a lot of time and effort from you. The problem isn’t you, it’s physics.
Often remember your death. Do this not to upset yourself, but to feel how you can make the present moment better. Memento Mori.
Take yourself at least 1 step forward every day.
There is no such thing as perfect, start somewhere. They say half finished is better than never started.
Find 1–2 small compliments to pass along on your first meeting. This will help the person you meet let their guard down and get to know each other faster.
Make your coffee at home and put it into a thermos. Do not spend the money on the coffee when possible.
Try not to make the same mistake twice. Leave it at at least 2.
Don’t be afraid to praise people. You can’t be praised enough without praising enough. You can’t take without giving.
If you have the opportunity, make sure to take notes, you will definitely forget the important issue on your mind right now.
Listen to learn not to answer.
Instead of jumping from idea to idea, give yourself time to decide whether an idea is really good or bad. Try 3–6–9 months. Even if you can’t get the efficiency you want, you will definitely learn something that will help you.
Create an emergency fund for yourself and never touch it no matter what. You never know how you will end up in a difficult situation.
“Instead of resisting to changes, surrender. Let life be with you, not against you. If you think ‘My life will be upside down’ don’t worry. How do you know down is not better than upside?” ― Shams Of Tabriz
Asking for help is one of the most human acts. Do not be proud and do not hesitate. Ask for help. People may think that you don’t want their hand to extend to you, reach out to them.
Man's freedom is not in being able to do whatever he wants, but in not having to do anything he doesn't want. ― Jean-Jacques Rousseau
Like happiness, success is not something you can chase after. It must come as a by-product of the actions you take.
Learn the art of asking quality questions. I highly recommend Socratic Questioning and A More Beautiful Question for this.
Have a bookstore that you visit every week, choose to go and enjoy it when it’s empty.
This has always surprised me: “We all love ourselves more than other people, but we value their opinions more than our own.” Don’t pay so much attention to people’s opinions. Listen and move on.
Learn to enjoy saying you have no idea about something.
Do your best to spend quality time with your family.
You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean, in a drop. — Rumi
In every job you have to either learn or win. It’s not bad if you have one. It’s best if you have both. But if neither, you should resign. — Garry Tan
Invest 20 percent of your income. Make sure to keep your investment varied.
If you’re wrong about something, don’t push it. Admit your mistake, learn what not to do at the next opportunity, and move on. We are not great people, we all have silly mistakes.
Try to create a passive income for yourself. A door that does not steal your time but generates regular income.
You happiness in job hugely depends on your manager. Do your due diligence before you change between jobs.
Do not hug your phone as soon as you get up in the morning. Notifications and emails are a battle to push other people’s lives on you. Start your day by protecting your own mental health.
As Bill Gates said, most people overestimate what they can do in a year and underestimate what they can do in ten years. Try to think more broadly of what you will do or what might happen to you.
Help people reach their goals. Do this to be proud of their achievements, not because you expect something in return. It will be good for you to help someone on their way.
If it will take you less than 5 minutes to do something, don’t reschedule it. Just do it, don’t deal with the mental load.
The need to be right is peculiar to ordinary people. — Albert Camus
It is very possible that the more you want happiness, the more unhappy you become. Don’t let your focus be on trying to be happy.
Don’t try too hard to be right and don’t break your opponent. Sometimes it’s better to be defeated.
Do not forget choice is always yours : “We create our own hell, it is the sum of all our decisions - we are not sentenced, we condemn ourselves.”
― Gabrielle EstresOn a related note: Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely.”― Roy T. Bennett
Don’t miss out on thanking the people who made you who you are, who pushed you on your way, and who taught you something.
Don’t talk too much about your goals. This is both to protect yourself when you fail and not to spoil your taste. Share these goals with people who can control and support you on your way to your goal.
“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality” ― Seneca
Everything you own comes to you at extra costs. Cleaning, hosting, moving, repairing etc. Once bought it and don’t think of it as done.
How you do anything is how you do everything.
Do not be afraid to ask deeper questions in your relationships with people. Take it a step further and try to figure out what is more important to them. Strive to avoid superficiality.
Be sure to collect feedback about yourself and the work you do. There is no good amount of it, it is good enough when you collect as much as you can.
Take action. No one will remember your conversations. Show what you are trying to mean in this world by doing it.
Only choose to talk if you really want to add value. Other than that, it would be best for you to remain silent.
The greatest happiness is to know the source of unhappiness. ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky.
Begin at once to live, and count each separate day as a separate life.
― SenecaThe less you know, the more fiercely you will defend it. — J.P. Sartre
When you say you want more freedom from the world, you may actually need freedom from your own past self. You don’t see things as they are. You see them as you are. — Derek Sivers
“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”― Ralph Waldo Emerson
Accept that if you are in this life, you will continue to suffer. This acceptance will not lessen your pain, but it will give you more strength.
Be careful who you spend most of your time with. Prefer to meet less with people who do not add value to you and whom you believe bring you down. Look for friendships that will breathe new life into your life.
The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference. ― Elie Wiesel
Don’t be afraid to take risks. Always try to pierce your comfort zone. The decisions you make may not be healthy, but you can’t know until you try, and then you will make healthier decisions.
All moments, past, present and future, always have existed, always will exist. ― Kurt Vonnegut
It’s worth saying over and over: Focus only on what you can control.
Be open to criticism and ask for your ideas to be criticized. Ask to people who you dislike the most. It will always take you one step further different eyes.
And I asked myself about the present: how wide it was, how deep it was, how much was mine to keep. ― Kurt Vonnegut
Definitely specialize in one job. May you have hours, days and weeks where you lose yourself in the flow of doing that job.
“It's a pity one can't imagine what one can't compare to anything. Genius is an African who dreams up snow. ” ― Vladimir Nabokov
Remember to forgive, don’t put the burden of hate on yourself, you will have too much to carry.
“You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.”
― Johann Wolfgang von GoetheDon’t be the best, be the only one. — Kevin Kelly
The most important contributor to happiness in this life is not having to do anything you don’t want to do. Try to take your freedom into your own hands as much as you can.
To go wrong in one's own way is better than to go right in someone else's.
― Fyodor Dostoevsky
What you call life may not be something to find. So instead of searching for what my passion is, what do I do best, try it. Create something and gain experience. Maybe life is hidden in creating something. Die trying instead of wandering.
As the main protagonist in the series Personality says: “Forgetting is the greatest gift given to man”. Try to forget more and focus on the future.
Stop making plans and start taking action. You’ll fix the plan on the way anyway.
Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them — work, family, health, friends and spirit — and you’re keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls — family, health, friends and spirit — are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life. — Brian Dyson
People don’t decide their future, they decide their habits; and their habits decide their future. — Frederick Matthias Alexander
Maybe ignorance is really bliss, but I think learning is definitely a pleasure. As you learn and think more broadly, you may feel restless, but this restlessness will take you where you really want to go.
Whoever has a reason to live can endure almost any how . — Friedrich Nietzsche
If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.
― Martin Luther King Jr.Do not talk about your philosophy. Embody it. — Epictetus
You only have power over your own mind — not over events outside. When you understand this, you will find the strength. — Marcus Aurelius
Life can never be made unbearable by circumstances, it can only become meaningless due to a lack of purpose.— Viktor Frankl
As Alan Watts said, you don’t have to be the same as you were 5 minutes ago. Nothing is permanent, not even you and what you have. No one has to see your new job, your new spouse, your new joy and your new habit as normal. Change.
As Nietzsche said, without music, life would be a mistake.
Don’t give unsolicited advice.
Start deeper conversations by asking deeper questions.
No one cares about you as much as you think. Everyone thinks about their job, health, relationship and financial situation with the energy they have during the day. Don’t stop doing something just because of what people think. You can be sure they don’t think too much. That should liberate you even more.
We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be. — Kurt Vonnegut
It’s a cool goal to become the person you dream of and see as your idol. It’s worth working for.
Unhappiness weighs most heavily on those who expect nothing but good fortune. — Seneca
Pain is an inevitable fact in life, but suffering is just a choice. — Haruki Murakami
If you’re lucky up to 18, you’ll live with your family. That’s almost a quarter of your life if you’re lucky again. Remember that many things in your adult life are related to what you experience in this range. But do not use it to constantly defend your own shortcomings and mistakes. On the other hand, think carefully and remember that there is no point in bringing another living thing into this world, as you may not be a good mother or a good father.
Repeat: Remember, it is your own judgments on events or people that upset you. Not events or persons.
Do not expect difficult things from people and yourself.
People’s behavior often stems from problems with themselves. Don’t be taken over.
Try to keep in mind that you can lose everything at any moment. And losing everything is the most easiest thing that can happen to you.
Happiness is the highest good. — Aristotle
Make your own meals at home whenever you can. The health of our stomach and intestines is the strongest indicator of how long you have a healthy life in this world.
Drink more water than you are thirsty for.
Do not interrupt your sleep for anything. You need him more than anything.
Take a break of at least 10 minutes every 1–2 hours. The best break schedule, as research shows, is 48 -10, but if you want 45–10 or 60–10, the choice is yours. Since you’re a mortal poor human like everyone else, your optimal working conditions will look more or less like this.
Never feel sorry for the money you spend on shoes, coffee, a quality headset, a comfortable chair and a bed.
Wait 72 hours after you have fully decided to buy something. You will find that you have given up on some of your expenses and you will not succumb to your emotions.
Turn off all notifications on your phone. None of the upcoming notifications will be that important to you, trust me. Notifications are purposes that others have tried on you.
You cannot be happy just because of money, but you will be unhappy if you do not have any money at all. Take matters more seriously when it comes to budgeting, investing and earning more.
Try different passions. Passion is not found, it is created. You cannot create unless you try.
Be sure to place sports in certain parts of your week. It doesn’t matter which one you like. All you need are 2 dumbbells and a mat.
It is very difficult to feel good mentally without your physical health, first of all, take care of your physical health.
Do not follow news sites and television. Sign up for a service that summarizes your top agenda items each morning. Aposto and Morning Brew are good examples.
Be careful not to go shopping when you are hungry.
There is no rhyme or reason to this life. It’s days like today scattered among the rest. — Marcus, John Wick
You will be exposed to a lot of stress in your business and private life. Have a key to release this stress. Playing computer games, reading a book, hiking, it doesn’t matter. But be sure to identify it.
Try meditating, no matter how condescending, it won’t hurt to try. Try to learn to listen to ourselves and our existence, which we forget in the hustle and bustle of our modern life.
Celebrate the successes of the people you love. Do it because you want to, not because it’s necessary. Your life is beautiful when you share happiness.
Break some rules, some time, for some purpose. Life is not linear.
Also, there are no rules :)
Great post, thanks.